The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
