Sponge bath it is.
Is it because I queefed?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
