There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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