biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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