I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Still dying that you shit outside
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
