You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
