"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
