enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
