the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
