Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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