Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
