Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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