Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize
