We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
