dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
is it fun? or sober?
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