Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
well you can't waste a boner
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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