i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
