All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
