absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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