I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
