I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
