You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
