Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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