At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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