everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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