It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
