shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
