what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
