Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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