I got chris browned last night
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
