I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
