I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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