Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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