I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
we're so committed to being not committed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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