How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
