I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
