Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
