OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
