someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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