I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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