No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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