You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
