and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
