wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she looked like the before picture.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If I die, sorry about rent.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize