did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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