Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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