Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I enjoy the company of your penis
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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