Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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