he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
