Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
