Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
