Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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