its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
