i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
